How do you look at life’s challenges?

I recently shared my reflections on 2020 and highlighted some of the reasons that I found to be thankful for the myriad of challenges that the year presented us with. I received a lot of positive feedback from clients and acquaintances on that blog post and reflection exercise and want to share some of what I gleaned from those conversations.

Here’s how you might be able to turn your challenges into opportunities…

Consciously choose to slow down

When we move at the speed of light from one activity to the next, day after day, we miss the opportunity to pause and reflect. Our brains operate on autopilot, we rely on habits and routine to get through whatever life throws at us, and we are likely to only notice what’s going wrong rather than what’s going well. If we don’t consciously choose to slow down, we rarely do and we miss out on opportunities to notice what’s going well. We also miss out on the opportunity to notice what’s potentially getting in our way (usually it’s our own thoughts!) so we can make necessary adjustments.

One simple way to do this is to plan time to pause and reflect on a regular basis; some do this as part of a daily morning or evening ritual; others on a weekly, monthly, or quarterly basis. In addition, start training your brain to notice when you are moving too fast, feeling negative, and repeating unhelpful actions. When that happens, stop what you are doing and take 30 seconds to consider what’s actually going well – write those things down if you have to – then decide how you want to proceed. By doing this on a regular basis, you will quiet your brain down, create more positive thoughts, and give yourself the opportunity to make more conscious choices about the actions you take.

Want to learn a little more about this? If so, check out The Neuroscience of Breaking Out of Negative Thinking article from Inc. magazine.

Seek input

Many people tend to hunker down when they are faced with challenges; to be stoic; to try to handle things on their own. Looking through their own lenses, they may decide that the challenge is just too great and not worth addressing, or they may think that it’s too daunting, so they put off dealing with it (until it gets worse). If this sounds familiar, look back at how you handled some of the challenges that life threw your way in 2020 and consider if you invited anyone in to help you figure out how to deal with them. If not, why not? What could have been possible if you had shared your challenges with someone else? If you did invite others in to help, were those people just like you, or did they have a different level of experience, approach, style, etc.? Were you able to come up with some creative solutions together? It’s not only important to invite others to provide their input and ideas; it’s also very helpful to invite in diverse viewpoints in order to consider all possibilities.

Share your experiences and goals

While some of my clients and acquaintances chose to complete the reflections activity on their own; others chose to share the activity with others. To their delight, rich conversations emerged around the dinner table and on virtual conference calls. They found that by sharing their own reflections on 2020 and hopes for 2021, they created an environment where others around them felt safe and comfortable sharing their thoughts too. By opening up and sharing your lessons learned, you may help someone else navigate similar challenges down the road. Similarly, by sharing your goals and aspirations, you instantly create more accountability for yourself (after all, once you speak it, it becomes more real, right?) and others may be able to offer you support in ways that you would not have envisioned. This applies to both personal and professional learnings and goal setting.

Focus on what you can control

All too often, we tend to think every challenge is ours to solve and that we are solely responsible for whether we fail or succeed. This can lead to a sense of overwhelm, exhaustion, and lots of negative self-talk if we are not careful. Once you begin to consciously slow down, you can use that pause to examine not only what the challenge is; but also, what role you might be able to have in bringing about a solution. For example, we have all faced many challenges this past year due to the pandemic and associated restrictions. It has taken an incredible amount of patience, resiliency, and creativity to navigate through our daily life. Yet, most of us have adjusted and made significant changes to our daily routine while others established the guidelines for us to operate within.

A key to not feeling overwhelmed is to break the challenge down to determine what, exactly, is within your control to manage and focus on that first and foremost. If that still feels like too much effort, break it down into smaller, more manageable chunks and take baby steps. Think progress, not perfection. Not sure where to start? Check out The Spirit of Kaizen by Robert Maurer, a wonderful book that talks about how to break challenges down into small steps that can have a big impact on your goals. I’m a big fan of this approach.

Intentionally seek out new challenges

I imagine that most of us have heard or read the quote, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” by Neale Donald Walsh but I wonder how many people actually take that to heart and intentionally push themselves into challenging situations on purpose? Life is already full of challenges so why add more to the mix? It’s really quite simple … challenging ourselves to do things we’ve never done, to see things in a new perspective, and to be curious about what’s possible will undoubtedly lead to growth. This applies equally to individuals and organizations. As I approach each new year, I try to come up with at least one personal and one professional new challenge to pursue. The goal is to learn whatever I can learn from the experience, not necessarily to achieve mastery.

For example, several years ago I decided to take 1-on-1 boxing lessons with a professional trainer. I had absolutely no desire to ever step in a ring; however, I knew that the activity would push me way out of my comfort zone and challenge me both physically and mentally. I had to adopt a beginner’s mindset and push through all the voices in my head that said that I was too old, too uncoordinated, etc. in order to allow myself to fully experience a whole new type of workout. I was wildly uncomfortable and often exhausted by the end of a 30-minute session, but I stuck with it and steadily improved until I could see and feel physical changes in my body and more confidence each time I put on my wraps and gloves. Unfortunately, COVID-19 forced me to pause my boxing activities; however, I didn’t let that stop me and instead found other new challenges to take its place – my latest adventure is indoor rock climbing (with a mask on, of course)! On the professional front, I chose to try to expand my influence in new ways and hired an expert to help me do that. I’m still testing and learning and get wildly uncomfortable at times but, with her support, I am staying in the discomfort and trying new things, and watching my business evolve as a result. My blog posts are a product of this effort 😊

I encourage you to take a few minutes and consider whether you are ready for some new challenges. Think about it both personally and professionally. When is the last time you tried something new? Volunteered for a new project? Learned a new language? Took a continuing education course? Don’t shy away from these opportunities; rather, seek them out, embrace the discomfort, and embrace the learnings. As you think through these ideas and plan your development for 2021, don't hesitate to reach out for a complimentary session if you need a sounding board.

My wish for you is that you give yourself permission to embrace life’s challenges and find ways to turn them into opportunities for yourself, your career, and for those that you choose to share your life with day in and day out.

Create Greater Impact,

Dianne

Meet Dianne: Dianne Falk is a dynamic Executive and Health Coach who specializes in helping her clients succeed during times of significant change, uncertainty, and growth. Her clients appreciate her candid compassion and ability to be a catalyst to help them find their voice, manage stress, set and achieve goals with intentional habits, and overcome obstacles while managing emotions across their work and life. www.creategreaterimpact.com